The Best and Worst Feelings in the World

I'll start:
Worst: Taking a really big, pretty nasty shit, looking over, and seeing there's only 2 squares of toilet paper left on the roll. You know 2 isn't going to cut it. You look under the sink. Nothing. You look in the trash, hoping maybe there's something wadded up you can use. Nothing. Magazine pages aren't going to work, and you're not tearing up your new issue of European Car. Then you have the worst feeling in the world. Knowing you've got to hike your pants back up, and shuffle-foot it into the other bathroom, without anyone seeing you, with the left over remnants of a seriously nasty shit being smashed back and forth between your ass cheeks, knowing that the mess you're going to have to clean up now is going to take 10 times longer than before, and probably use half the roll.

why?

lmao.

JSharp wrote:

why?

Becasue its gotten quite slow here, and I figured it would make someone's day.

Marshal wrote:

JSharp wrote:

why?

Becasue its gotten quite slow here, and I figured it would make someone's day.

day? talk about week lol

hahahah love it! it always happens to me, so ilook under the sink and no toilet paper! lmao.

thats why you do the double S. Shit, Shower. and if you are feeling up to it, the triple S, shit, shower, shave

LMAO... double SS FTW! GF dont like it when she is already taking a shower tho... yeah im grose

who uses toilet paper ? pine cones ftw !

so with all this poop talk it made me have to go poop.

so i got a sit on the can, and just let er rip, nice solid poop, smelt like beer, i felt good, and i was damn proud.

so then i leave the bathroom leaving it wide open of course, and i hop in my car and drive to shell.

as im driving around, i kinda get a gross, my stomach is gonna explode feeling, and i could not stop shittin my pants.

so i then rush home, and run into the bathroom, and have the greasiest shit i have had in a long while.

moral of the story, beer will give you the shits. more than once

Best: Q-tipping your ears
Worst: reading JP's shitting story I did not enjoy haha

Best: getting your favorite fast food meal
Worst: looking in the bag and realizing they forgot your straw and you don't have any at home and they messed up your specific no onions order!

Best: you look at your schedule, realize you don't work this weekend, and get to sleep in, so you have no time limit on when you want to go to bed and no time limit when to wake up.. so you can just sleep and sleep however long

Worst: That feeling of nervousness that you get when you need something done on time but it will be close. Its similar to that feeling when you play hide-n-seek, no matter how long ago you went to the washroom, everytime you hide and are waiting it seems you have to take a piss

call me sick but best feeling first time i jizzed (which i dont remember but i still keep doing it). worst feeling when your leaning back on a chair and your at that point when you loose control and think your gonna fall back but you somehow get back up.

BigSteve wrote:

Best: you look at your schedule, realize you don't work this weekend, and get to sleep in, so you have no time limit on when you want to go to bed and no time limit when to wake up.. so you can just sleep and sleep however long

Worst: That feeling of nervousness that you get when you need something done on time but it will be close. Its similar to that feeling when you play hide-n-seek, no matter how long ago you went to the washroom, everytime you hide and are waiting it seems you have to take a piss

this man speaks the truth!

Marshal wrote:

Best: Q-tipping your ears
Worst: reading JP's shitting story I did not enjoy haha

you should have seen the next day, i shit 9 times in one fuckin day, thats gotta be a record.

how could you still sit down after all that?

luispizarro25 wrote:

call me sick but best feeling first time i jizzed (which i dont remember but i still keep doing it)

hahahahahaha

best = getting your car though safety, when you have doubts.
worst= knowning that was only the first step.

best - finally getting to eat after 8 days in the hospital with no food..

worst - knowing i own a ford. ughhh