| Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson | |
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Marshal Rank 9
Number of posts : 2780 Age : 69 Vehicle : Nothing nice Location : Regina. Registration date : 2008-02-29
| Subject: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:17 pm | |
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1. “I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”
2. [On the Porsche Boxster] “It couldn’t pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.”
3. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.”
4. “I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.”
5. “Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”
6. “Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what… being stabbed?”
7. [On Detroit] “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.”
8. “Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.”
9. [On the Renault Clio V6] “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”
10. [On the Enzo Ferrari] “I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.”
11. [On the Porsche Cayenne] “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”
12. “The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.”
13. “Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”
14. “If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.”
15. “That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.”
16. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] “The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”
17. [On the Alfa Romeo Brera] “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”
18. “A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”
19. “This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!’”
20. “In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”
21. [On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG] “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”
22. “I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.”
23. “Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.”
24. “Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”
25. “I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?” | |
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Jhall Rank 9
Number of posts : 2058 Vehicle : Ruckus/91 MX5 Registration date : 2009-04-06
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:19 pm | |
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Thai-kun Rank 6
Number of posts : 810 Age : 33 Vehicle : 2000 Honda S2000 [AP1] Location : Regina Registration date : 2008-02-16
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:19 pm | |
| Lol...I miss Top Gear. Marshal, I have to let you read the Big Book of Top Gear 2009. | |
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Marshal Rank 9
Number of posts : 2780 Age : 69 Vehicle : Nothing nice Location : Regina. Registration date : 2008-02-29
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:22 pm | |
| There is a book? Bring it to the drift track. you are also responsible for showing me Initial D stuff while you ar ethere if I remember correct | |
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jdm_itr Moderator
Number of posts : 4480 Age : 37 Vehicle : 99ITR/00 Ej6 Location : southey yo Registration date : 2008-09-05
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:26 pm | |
| thats classic those are beter than chuck norice jokes | |
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Thai-kun Rank 6
Number of posts : 810 Age : 33 Vehicle : 2000 Honda S2000 [AP1] Location : Regina Registration date : 2008-02-16
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:31 pm | |
| - Marshal wrote:
- There is a book?
Bring it to the drift track. you are also responsible for showing me Initial D stuff while you ar ethere if I remember correct Hmm...I don't know if I have a big enough flash drive. Bring your laptop with you and I can transfer all the stuff over in my car. | |
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Marshal Rank 9
Number of posts : 2780 Age : 69 Vehicle : Nothing nice Location : Regina. Registration date : 2008-02-29
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:34 pm | |
| you make it sound so dirty!
but ok. I'll bring my laptop. I'll prop it open in my car so I can slam it shut when it says, "Danger to manifold" and when the rivets fall out of my floorpan | |
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Jhall Rank 9
Number of posts : 2058 Vehicle : Ruckus/91 MX5 Registration date : 2009-04-06
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:37 pm | |
| - Marshal wrote:
- you make it sound so dirty!
but ok. I'll bring my laptop. I'll prop it open in my car so I can slam it shut when it says, "Danger to manifold" and when the rivets fall out of my floorpan lol fuck you brian spilner | |
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Thai-kun Rank 6
Number of posts : 810 Age : 33 Vehicle : 2000 Honda S2000 [AP1] Location : Regina Registration date : 2008-02-16
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 6:38 pm | |
| - Marshal wrote:
- you make it sound so dirty!
but ok. I'll bring my laptop. I'll prop it open in my car so I can slam it shut when it says, "Danger to manifold" and when the rivets fall out of my floorpan SHUT UP! *slams laptop shut* | |
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JSharp Rank 8
Number of posts : 1577 Age : 74 Vehicle : 2002 Yamaha R1, 2003 Nissan 350z, 2005 Yamaha R6 Location : Regina Registration date : 2008-05-19
| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson May 20th 2009, 11:39 pm | |
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| Subject: Re: Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson | |
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| Top 25 Quotations From Jeremy Clarkson | |
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